Smokey the Bear: Pervert

Why doesn't Smokey wear a shirt and shoes? He certainly isn't welcome in any convenience stores (No Shirt? No Shoes? No Service!). He's a pervert, that's why!

See, he deceives parents by advocating fire safety. Play with matches safely, kids, right? Really, what he thinks is hot, is your child's ass.

Look at the comic cover above... there's a young bear cub (also shirtless) riding on he back of a bucking buffalo. Smokey's eyes are fixated on the cub's ass, and he looks like he's in heaven.

Any idiot can see, Smokey the bear is a child molester. If you see him, kill him. Be careful, he's armed with a shovel.